Killing the blog.

Sorry guys but I’m gonna let this blog go. Personally I hate when people leave from the internet but I have a few reasons and none of the is to any relevance to you people.

It was short but sweet!.

See you around.

Perfect until futher notice.

It’s Tuesday today. It’s the beginning of the week and to be honest, I love it. I’m finally back at work producing something and putting my mind at ease. I seriously believe that I will turn into a workaholic. The feeling I get from working, shutting my brain off and putting on auto-pilot is great. It is such a stress reliever and it gives me a feeling of great satisfaction. The sad thing is that this is my last weak. I quit on Saturday to start school the 15:th. I know that I complain alot about working but that’s mainly because I write when I’m bored or angry.

I sometimes meet people in the store that has some kind of psychical or mental illness and in the beginning it was hard to accept them as any other customer mainly because I’m not used to meeting them. But these days they’re just as any other of the customers that I meet and to be honest it’s that they are sometimes even easier to deal with than people that doesn’t have any disadvantage. This one lady had her arms mangled and I think she actually had a few toes as fingers to be able to grab things. This other guy was in a wheelchair and didn’t have any legs and only one arm. We was cool and did all his stuff himself and gave me his money with one of his severely crippeled hands. It was hard to hear what he said but after awhile I kinda got used to how he sounded.

All this makes me feel good that I’m healthy and everything. Is that a bad thing to feel? That I consider myself more lucky since someone else has it worse either mentally or having a deformed body?

The Quiet Place.

Friday went as expected. In my world that means beer and moments of peace. It was a good night out and very calming for the soul. A few beers, a good gaming session with a friend and two beers at the pub. Yesterday was terrible though and way to much alcohol but I wont dwell in that. I’m starting to like my apartment more and more now which is good. I’m also beginning to go crazy again which is not good. My problem is that I’m just so damn tired of myself and what I do every day. It’s like I intentionally ruin things and try to talk myself into that there’s no point in trying.

If I can’t accept and approve myself it doesn’t matter what happens. I need to work on that much much more. I don’t belive in the “you are what you are”-theory. I can change my way of life and my goals can be achieved no matter how big they are. At least today I believe that.

Death To Lovers.

Love. The feeling that brings joy to people and also a powerful word that’s been used for years. Everybody is capable of loving. Even small pets are considered to be able to love each other. Everybody wants to be in love and everybody wants to be loved. Lovers seems to forget one simple thing though. Just because they’re happy and in love doesn’t mean that the world will suddenly turn into a sugar-palace with sweetness and humbleness all around. It gets on my fucking nerve how they all suddenly thinks that they have their own little kingdom and that nothing in the entire world can go wrong. Just because you two are together doesn’t mean that I fucking walk on clouds. The common misstake lovers make is to think that they are unvincible.

The guys view on life is that simply because he is out with his girlfriend at the pub he is also the strongest at the place. He have heard one time to many that his dick is much bigger than the last ten guys his girlfriend fucked and his muscles are SO strong that he could get on top of her with ease when she tries to “fight back” in bed. Every night that I see guys like him I hope to god that someone would break his nose.

The girls view on life is that they need atleast 4 or 5 other guys hitting on them to prove that “I’m with ma man” therefore they act overy-psychotic when a guy approach them as if to say “No and I knew you would come on to me”. That’s why the ugly girls always stay later than the pretty ones. The ones that are attractive only needs to stay out until like 11 to prove their “worth” to their man. The ugly ones need a few more hours and they often get confused with the closing-up-time-whores that waits to get taken by their hand and led…. to the bushes to spread their legs.

Maybe I’m just bitter but these people need to go away since this isn’t what love is like to me. This is just proving how much you need other people to validate your existance.

Smashing People.

I can’t really say that I consider myself a part of any greater social club. If I should be honest with myself I guess I’m one of the lower and part of the “who-the-fuck-is-that-guy” club in the world. But the funny thing that makes me feel so damn awesome is that I’M IN THAT CLUB! I can sneak around like a secret dude and sit in my room for a few days and just do nothing because no one cares. I can also go out and drink and make a complete fool of myself and still everything works out with the blessings of others. That makes me awesome but still I have a problem with it as well.

I am also one of those that actually have things that I MUST do and CAN NOT fuck up. These things are absolutely necessary for my survival. Such things are:

• Go to work
• Plan my future
• See friends so that I don’t lose them
• Convince myself that I’m a good guy
• Be a good example of mankind

These are only a few of my everyday assignments and when I fail one of these I take down the whole club of people like me that is regular and not really that important. We have a few things that we must handle and the rest is just up to the person whether they should do something more than just be regular. Those are the choices that we have and that I will continue my life choosing.

Good beginning, bad ending.

Today I went to work with a very positive attitude. I woke up and went over to the cafe about 45 minutes before I had to open the store. I had a good big cup of coffee and read the morning paper with a little goodie piece of munchy next to me. Left in good time before I started work and got in 10 minutes early. Then everything fell apart. I sold item after item for 4 hours straight and had a 20 minutes lunch break. This continued until now when it’s about an hour until closing time. Things have finally calmed down and we’ve sold things for 3400 $ and I’m dead. If this madness continues for the last hour I will rip my… ooh, a nice ass just walked by outside my window. Aah, much happier.

My 360 was very nice to me yesterday. It knew that I felt kinda grumpy so he picked up a little wireless network  connection close to where I live and signed me in to xbox live! Har har. That made me pleased as I was organizing my manga books. So I downloaded Galga from marketplace and it’s almost entirely impossible! Going to do a review on that one for the website. Anyways, time to go so see you all later.

I really work for a living.

Today when I was biking to work I found myself really tired and grumpy. When I walked in the door I felt sick. When the store opened I got irritated at almost every customer and now when it’s getting close to lunch I’m not even hungry. I think that I’m getting sick of working. This is my fourth week working 6 days a week for 9 hours per day. Usually when I get home I try to make some interesting dinner but end up making the same boring food as always. By the time I’ve eaten and had a smoke and some coffee it’s almost 8 in the evening and the tiredness from work and a full stomach start to kick in. I take another smoke and try to figure out some activity for the night but never figure out anything to do. I think about the stuff that has to be done like washing and writing reviews for games that I should’ve finished a long time ago. Then someone that I know calls me up and tells me the plans and I tag along knowing that I won’t be home until 11 or 12. When I turn out the lights after getting home and having a shower I’m not as tired as before. After a few smokes I finally pass out around 2-3 knowing it’s way to late and biting my jaws together in stress and anger of how stupid I was not doing the things that should’ve been done. There’s something wrong with me.

Got a sofa.

So is this exitment or what? I finally got a new sofa. Or well, it’s not new but it’s new to me. That’s good enough, right? I have a plan for this wordpress thing. I’m gonna try and add a page tonight where I will keep pictures. And no I don’t do camshows……tss.. say what?! Now here’s the joke. All the girls on wordpress and fricking blogs always nags about them not beeing camwhores. I just felt like I had to be the same way with all of the “I know that you want me to go live and you want to see the sexy me but I’m JUST TOO GOOD FOR THAT SHIT!” It’s like. Maybe people just like to look at pictures no matter who they’re looking at?   

Pictures coming soon!

I want to destroy the world.

If I had the chance I would rip out my guts and spew it back on the earth. I would do everything I possibly could to drain out the waters and cut down the trees that reaches out for what would be a black sky filled with ashes. The heavens would cry acid on the population that would be crucified and drained of blood. 

I would promise the devils and warriors of my army a glorious victory that would lead them to eternal rest and let their spirits roar in the sky as hawks. We would create plague after plague of diseases that would have the people crawling around in rotten bodies that left their skin as a trail wherever they went to hide from us.

Then he would come. The only one that could defeat my warriors. He would arm the angels with spears and create what would become the greatest army ever seen. He would gather the old gods with Thor the almighty leading the front of the revolution. At the sound of the earth crying the end of all things would be completed and the planet would crumble and go silent.

The skies would once again become clear and the daisies would start to flourish once again. Humans would be erased and the nothingness would quietly rule the earth for centuries to come. With the flow of time a new race would be born. One with the innocence of a child and the wisdom of geniuses. A race that does not hold any legacy of darkness. When that day comes I will be reborn as one of them. Godlike and free I will protect the children and watch them grow and when they are old enough to protect this new heaven alone I will die. As I join my slaves of hatred in the eternal flames of hell I will leave a mark in time. From that moment on and forward life will truly be good and all will end well just as it should have been with our chance in the universe endless existence. 

I can be out drinking on weekdays?

So yesterday when I came home exhausted from work I find my entire family and cousins getting wasted and partying it up at my home. I knew that they were going to have a few people over but not that kinda party. I ended up drinking two beers and i decided to put my maturity to the test and go out to the pub on a weekday. I was thinking that if I can manage to make it home before 11 I might be able to go out more even tho I’m working. Of-course I ended up coming home around 1 and had a few more than I had sat my limit too but still. I didn’t make such a big mess of myself and I got to work on time!

Now here’s the question. Was this a good or bad thing for me? Now that I know I can go out after work and have a few beers without not fucking up my job there’s a chance it might happen more often. Oh the troubles I have. I think I can still manage keeping myself to the days when I’m off work. I’m a good boy.